How do you start writing about something so painful, but know in your heart that it is absolutely the right thing to do? How do you write without crying? And yet in the back of my brain, I know that everything will be okay? That is what I am struggling with right now.
Harley has been with us since January 18th, 2002, after he picked out my husband Jim while we were looking for a pup at the SW Washington Humane Society. A constant source of joy and love…what more do you say?
Tomorrow, Friday, April 12th, he will be come a Tripawd. And I know he will pull it off without a hitch. He is going to be so graceful and excited to not be in pain.
3 weeks ago today, Harley was playing with Jim in the back yard, and of course being in the Pacific NW, there is more mud than grass right now. He twisted his leg and instantly fell. We took him into our vet to discover that his lower left back leg was broken. Unfortunately, the X-Ray showed that he has either a terrible infection or the Big “C”. What do we do now?
We speak with a vet about doing a biopsy on the bone to see what is going on. Get that scheduled last week, take him in, and boom…not going to do the procedure…the X-Ray suggests highly that it is cancer and rather than put Harley through 2 major procedures, we wait. We talk extensively to our vet, we cry, I get online and google pet leg amputation.
I am of course led to Tripawds and information. I download the e-book that night. I also download to Jim’s Kindle so he can read also. We read, we talk, we ask more questions of the vet. We talk and we decide together that Harley doesn’t deserve to be in pain. We opt for surgery.
And here we are, the night before, and I am again wondering if we are doing the right thing. And then I look at his beautiful face, and yes, I know we are. He is an overachiever…he will survive and be so happy to not be in pain. I have hope and look forward to everything going well…but of course I am human, and I always have the doubt.
I am going to have a heart to heart tonight with Harley before we go to bed. I am going to explain the surgery, and how this will alleviate his pain. And explain that no matter what, he is our first son and he is so loved.
Wish our family luck, strength, and prayers! Ilene